Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.

Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.

The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning.

He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq .

To everyone's amazement, the entire color ran from Bush's face, then he
collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost
whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many
is a brazillion?"

One sunny day in late January, 2009 an old man approached the White House
 from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench.
He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said,
"I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president
and no longer resides here." 

The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House
and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president
and no longer resides here."

The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke
to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Bush."

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said,
"Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. 
I've told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and
no longer resides here.  Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand.  I just love hearing it."

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."